Pirates, so far as we know, rarely said “Yarrrrr.” The fact that we think they do, that it’s been a Law of the Sea since “The Simpsons” Sea Captain character was a squinty wee squirt, that there’s a Talk Like a Pirate Day for years now all spins out of the Great Brit Robert Newton‘s second run up the skull-and-crossbones topped mainmast — 1952’s “Blackbeard, the Pirate.”

Newton had already given a career-defining performance as Long John Silver in “Treasure Island” a couple of years before. If this planned film of the infamous Blackbeard was going to stand a chance of making it to the screen, they’d need Newton to play him. And by thunder, he did.

Separating the character from Long John, and deeper into the alcoholism that was to make him an unpleasant co-star and shorten his life, Newton makes Edward Teach of Ocracoke infamy a much more exaggerated version of an early 18th century buccaneer.

Yaaarrrr, he did. All that’s missing is a parrot.

“Blackbeard” is a mostly ahistorical — OK UTTERLY ahistorical account of the cutthroat’s late career, because in the 1950s, people didn’t sweat “based on a true story” the way Hollywood does now.

But Newton & Co. make it fun, a violently silly swashbuckler that at least could boast a Blackbeard who looked right — braided beard, which he would allegedly stick lit fuses in to create the illusion he was literally on fire, just to terrify merchant ship captains into surrendering without a fight.

It’s about a rivalry/sea hunt between the notorious Teach and the sometime pirate, sometime English patriot and privateer Henry Morgan, who retired at about the time Teach was born and died when little Eddie Teach was but 8.

Keith Andes plays a British agent posing as a ship’s surgeon to get the goods on then Lt. Governor of Jamaica Morgan (Torin Hatcher), whom the Crown assumed had returned to piracy. Maynard the “sawbones” spy gets himself “sold” into Blackbeard’s crew.

That’s how he and Lady Edwina Mansfield (Linda Darnell) find themselves aboard the pirate’s ship together, each with his or her own agenda with regards to the pirate. Mansfield has riches belonging to Capt. Morgan in her care, and thought she was coming aboard a friendly captain’s ship. Seeing him hanging from the yardarm lets her know her mistake.

“He’s aboard,” Blackbeard cracks. “I left him hangin’ around here, somewheres.”

Maynard — pronounced “MAYYY-nard” by the bug-eyed pirate — is just the sawbones to fix up our still-wounded title character when they meet. Blackbeard isn’t Maynard’s quarry. But Blackbeard wants his share of booty that Morgan stole, and Maynard’s out to trap Morgan. And with a crew that fears and hates its captain — William Bendix plays Worley, the first mate, and Skelton Knaggs is Gilly, the shifty crewman who slips Maynard a “Kill him!” note so that the sawbones will cut a vein while removing a pistol ball from Blackbeard’s neck — and a lone accomplice (future star Richard Egan), Maynard figures Blackbeard will be just the bait to lure Morgan into a trap.

Eyepatched action director Raoul Walsh (“White Heat,” “Northern Pursuit”) was a good choice to make the fights convincing and sea and land battles work. But the picture is so soundstage (and water tank) bound that all the Technicolor does is make the spectacle look even more fake. It’s just as well, given how “difficult” his star was becoming. Soundstages are controlled environments, for the filming conditions and the general captivity of the cast.

Newton would eventually settle into a “Long John Silver” TV series just to keep working through his downward spiral.

But every damned word out of Newton’s mouth here is sadistically funny. He boasts of grabbing “All the loot of Panamaarrrrrr” whilst he was with the double-crossing Morgan, marvels that his female hostage bathes a lot — “Y’mean she gets wet all over…on purpose?” And he realizes “She ain’t near so cheap to keep as she were to take.”

Darnell makes Edwina a brassy, crafty foe with an eye for the main chance and a dim view of her new sawbones accomplice’s bravery.

“You? Hang Henry Morgan? You couldn’t hang the hind leg of a pig in a smokehouse!”

The villain is as cold-blooded as they come, but the story’s silly and the one-liners fast and furious and ever-so-“yaarrrrrrrrr. Alan LeMay’s script is inventive, nonsensical and fun. Consider the sea chant the first mate barks when they’re swinging then flinging a dead shipmate over the side.

“One, and the body, the body I say. Two, shall be cast, be cast, I say. Three into the sea, the sea, into the sea goes he!”

That there’s some yaaarrr screenwriting, friends.

We know a lot more about the historical Blackbeard these days, and his last ship, The Queen Anne’s Revenge,” was discovered in recent years. In 1952 LeMay couldn’t recreate Blackbeard’ infamous beheaded demise, but he got creative enough in finding a delicious alternative.

The movie isn’t all that, in spite of Newton’s hamminess, Darnell’s tough-broad pluck and the scurvy dogs of the supporting cast. Andes is merely adequate in a co-starring role. And even beach scenes are soundstage bound.

But “Blackbeard, the Pirate” is still fun to see and hear Newton inventing many a pirate movie trope in a role that’s as yaarrrr today as it ever was.

Walsh eyepatch

Rating: “approved”

Cast: Robert Newton, Linda Darnell, William Bendix, Keith Andes, Torin Thatcher, Alan Mowbray, Skelton Naggs, Richard Egan and Irene Ryan.

Credits: Directed by Raoul Walsh, scripted by Alan LeMay. An RKO release on Tubi, Amazon, Youtube et al

Running time: 1:38