I can’t remember a comedy that caused me more anxiety than “Quicksand,” a scruffy little “film festival indie” that leaves that sheltered environment to try its luck competing in the real world.

The lead characters are a couple goofballs who do the wrong thing, fail to ask the right question and refuse simply to “take a win” or cut-their-losses and run in every situation they face.

Every “misunderstanding” that piles up along the way is escalated, every injustice and humiliation is left un-redressed, every wrong left-unrighted.

The first two acts are so frustrating my stomach was in knots. I couldn’t decide if the characters Ray (Tanner Presswood, channeling “Napoleon Dynamite”) and thick-accented-Paul (Simón Elias) were worth rooting for, pitying or loathing.

But energy and quick pacing carry us through the leaky, ulcer-inducing early acts and get us to a “get me to the church on time” finale that mocks “Thin Blue Line” cop solidarity and Michigan “types,” the gun-nuttierr, the funnier.

I can’t say it all works or that I “highly” recommend it. But it kind of plays, and it pays off.

Ray is 23 and unemployed — he fears he’s unemployable. His bestie Paul may talk-up his first “grownup job,” but he’s about to discover it’s an unpaid internship.

And these two idiots are co-best men for their pal Josh’s upcoming wedding, which sets up the story’s two initial problems. Ray hopes to make time with the fair Claire, his “super crush,” at the wedding. That means Paul’s got to coach him about how to break up with long term girlfriend Maggie (Mia Hagerty), which he does, from UNDER the TABLE in the booth where Ray meets her.

Ray’s too slow to recognize HER breaking up with him, or to take seriously her statement of the obvious? “Paul controls you!”

These two losers also have Josh’s Norwegian granny’s valuable wedding ring to guard, which Ray manages to leave on a sofa he sells to a pawn shop because they’re that broke.

The film’s first maddening scene is their meeting with that pawn broker, never pointing out that the ring wasn’t his to steal and sell or coming over the counter to threaten this blithe jerk (AJ Guertin, infuriating). Ray even has to bribe him for the address of the receiving-stolen-property creep “400 miles away” who bought it.

They have to borrow a tent, pile into Paul’s Jeep XJ for a road trip and get the ring back BEFORE the wedding. Misunderstandings, mishaps, mayhem, run-ins with murderers, a corrupt sheriff (Tom Czarny), car chases with the stolen ring-buyer, a stand-off with an archer, oh and QUICKSAND — just another day or so’s “adventures” in Kid Rock’s Northern Michigan.

The leads have a dopey chemistry that is somewhat wasted on jokes that aren’t quite B-picture. They find a cell “with real buttons,” which might get them out of a jam.

“It’s like...a phone, where you can only use the PHONE app!”

Their predicaments are dopey and generic — quicksand here, tied-up by the bad guys there. But every now and then the “get them out of the jam” scripted problem-solving is clever enough.

And the “big finish” kind of/sort of works, in that pull-your-hair-out over more ANXIETY over what obvious steps are untaken, what obvious explanations left unspoken way.

But if you crave a comedy that’ll have you shouting at the screen — a LOT — friend I just one word for you — “QUICKSAND.”

Rating: unrated, violence, bloody but sometimes comical

Cast: Tanner Presswood, Simón Elias and Tom Czarny

Credits: Directed by JohnPaul Morris, scripted by JohnPaul Morris, Jake Burgess and Broderick Steele. A Gravitas Ventures release.

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