Movie Nation

Make it stop. Because at this point, we’ve kind of given up on “make it better.”

Warner Brothers and DC finish the job of wasting the great casting coup of their “Justice League” era comic book film adaptations in a dead fish of an Aquaman sequel, “Aquaman and the Lost City.”

It’s a lifeless patchwork of comic book movie “world building” and tropes, pieced together by four credited “story” authors, shot and re-shot, surrounded by rumors that Amber Heard has been edited out of it (She isn’t, but haters gon’hate.) and almost zero buzz.

Even bad buzz might have been better than that.

Earnest efforts to make it jokier, probably at the behest of humorous he-man star Jason Momoa, come to naught. Trying to turn Aquaman’s (somewhat) evil brother (Patrick Wilson) into a sort of Loki figure/foil and object of Aquaman’s fun fail.

And the story is just a “payback” tale from the first “Aquaman” outing, the one where Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II ) was a villain foiled, and now he’s back to find ancient undersea tech that will end life on Earth and while he’s at it, “take from him what he took from you.”

Because Aquaman’s got a baby boy, now.

Aquaman’s dad (Temuera Morrison, the original Boba Fett) has little useful advice for his man-mountain son.

“Sometimes not giving up is the most heroic thing you can do.”

James Wan & Co. give us CGI sea-creatures voiced by Martin Short and fanboy favorite John Rhys-Davies, to little avail.

Randall Park plays the scientist no one believes in as he looks high and low for proof of Atlantis.At some point, there’s a scene in which he must have been given a bloody nose. Blood turns up in his beard in insert shots later in this edit.

But the people you kind of feel sorry for are Heard, given enough scenes to justify a paycheck, and Nicole Kidman. It’s been years and years since our favorite redheaded Aussie Oscar winner has been in a movie this bad.

There is some environmental messaging in here, which will annoy the same folks who’re made whenever Amber Heard gets work. Aquaman notes the state of the seas and the environment at large and mutters “I’m tired of nothing ever getting done.”

Yes, even Aquaman hates Joe Manchin.

But Momoa flexes, hops on a bike (his first, best destiny is anything with motorcycles in it) and does his damnedest to carry or will this picture into something worth watching — big laughs, macho joking around — “I’m gonna go start a fight.” – all of it looks like he’s trying too hard, and almost none of it works.

At this point, with Marvel over-saturating the “content” marketplace and out of ideas and DC almost never getting it right, make it stop, make it go away or maybe take a break and a breather on this over-exposed genre seem like the best options.

The technology to make these movies eye candy of the first order is here. But the people making them are at a loss for a decent story to put these superheroes in, much less a movie that matters.

“Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” fails to answer, in any meaningful way divorced from corporate accounting, the question “Why does this exist?”

Rating: PG-13, violence, some profanity

Cast: Jason Momoa, Nicole Kidman, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Temuera Morrison, Randall Park, Dolph Lundgren, Martin Short, Indya Moore, Jani Zhao and Patrick Wilson

Credits: Directed by James Wan, scripted by David Leslie McGoldrick, based on the DC comics. A Warner Brothers release.

Running time: 2:04

A clumsy riff on Shakespeare with mismatched leads, a bit of nudity – only some of it sexual — and a busload of F Bombs, “Anyone But You” is about as close as Hollywood can get to a rom-com that works these days.

Which is to say, “Not terribly close,” even though it’s not exactly terrible.

It’s a star vehicle for “Euphoria” breakout Sydney Sweeney and “Maverick” supporting player Glen Powell.

Powell gives his best. But there’s a moment when a supporting character cracks wise about Sweeney’s character being a “Miss Mumbles” which feels improvised. You instantly wonder about that line’s origins and why it made it into the picture because it smacks of an on-set irritation.

“They must have shot multiple takes of her at times,” you figure, trying to get a clear and coherent version of a line or attempting to get something droll, snappy or emotional out of her performance of it.

Flat line readings do nothing for lines that don’t sit “trippingly on the tongue” to start with.

The two “Much Ado” connections here are a testy, feuding couple whose “meet cute” has a pratfall of two in it, and a one nighter that left hard feelings on both sides, and assorted quotes from the play — “Men Were Deceivers Ever” — used as chapter headings for the attempted sex farce.

Bea and Ben (the Bard’s “Beatrice” and “Benedict”) are thrown back together when they’re in the wedding party of her sister (Hadley Robinson) and his best friend’s sister (Alexandra Shipp) in far off Sydney, Australia.

Ben has an ex Margaret (Charlee Fraser) he’d like to reconnect with, but she’s living with a hunky himbo (Joe Davidson). Bea would like to shake off her parents’ (Rachel Griffiths and Dermot Mulroney from “My Best Friend’s Wedding”) efforts to force her to make up with her own ex.

So these feuding frenemies, whose battles threaten to “f-up” the nuptials, fake a “wedding trip romance” to throw off all those people making unsubtle attempts at throwing them together.

Hilarity ensues. Rarely.

The “My Best Friend’s Wedding” connection extends beyond the Mulroney/Griffiths casting. Inexplicably, the filmmakers try to make Natasha Bedingfield’s featherweight pop confection “Unwritten” into a running gag, and a sing-along, the way “Say a Little Prayer” was in “Best Friend’s.”

That goes over like, “What, the rights to Nickelback’s ‘Photograph’ weren’t available?” Nickelback jokes always land.

Nudity is deployed for the two outrageous laughs, one of them provided by Davidson’s dopey surfer-beefcake Beau, the guy wholly aware, in the most Australian surfer dude way, of Ben’s past with Margaret.

“You had a bit of a go back when, didya? Good ON ya!”

He rattles through a collection of Aussie slang expressions for penis that’s the funniest bit in the picture. “Donger” and “tally whacker” and “the main vein” were in there somewhere.

Bryan Brown is the standout in the supporting cast, the goofy Aussie stepdad of Alexandra Shipp’s bride to be. And he’s the one who lets the “mumbles” line slip out and stick to the vivacious but colorless Sweeney like glue.

I hate to lay a film’s failure on an actor, as this script is feeble, with most of the supporting players have trouble finding a laugh either. But Sweeney is put into one plunging neckline outfit after another to keep us from noticing how drab and badly-played every line out of her mouth is.

She looks an overripe teen paired-up with Powell, and sounds, first scene to last, like an actress ill-suited for comedy.

Rating: R, sex, nudity, lots and lots of profanity, much of it gratuitous.

Cast: Sydney Sweeney, Glen Powell, Alexandra Shipp, Rachel Griffiths, Mia Artemis, Gata, Nat Buchanan, Josh Bonello, Hadley Robinson and Dermot Mulroney.

Credits: Directed by Will Gluck, scripted by Ilana Wolpert and Will Gluck. A Sony/Screen Gems release.

Running time: 1:43

His was an unlikely stardom, arriving late as fashions and tastes in movie manhood changed to suit him.

“He wasn’t very tall,” Humphrey Bogart’s sometime co-star Mary Astor wrote. “Vocally, he had a range from A to B, his eyes were like coal nuggets pressed into his head and his smile was a mistake that he tried to keep from happening.”

Then there was the beauty queen turned model, half his age when they met, set off sparks onscreen and off. The newly-renamed Betty Joan Persky had an indifferent screen career, for the most part. It wasn’t until Lauren Bacall buried Bogie and became the permanent guardian of his legacy that she truly came into her own as an actress and regal presence, on stage and on the screen.

But her guardianship of that legend covered-up and otherwise misdirected the world into printing that legend, and not the truth about Bogart — the upper class drunk with self-esteem issues he took out on many a co-star, director or even close friend.

That’s the case William J. Mann makes in his crackling new bio, “Bogie & Bacall: The Surprising True Story of Hollywood’s Greatest Love Affair.”

If there’s a classic film buff on your holiday shopping list, this is the film book to buy this year. Digging into studio archives, letters and archival interviews of those who knew them, Mann tears apart every “sanctioned” and “Betty Bacall-approved” biography that preceded it to give us a clear picture of two screen icons and the romance that blossomed when “wife number four” showed up, and the history various film publicists and later she spent decades minimizing or simply erasing.

Mann tracks through the years of Broadway, touring show and summer stock struggles of Manhattan doctor’s son and prep school dropout Humphrey, the “dandies” and “cads” he played as a young stage actor, the myths invented about his military service, his torn upper lip and the like.

The earlier marriages are remembered and deconstructed. He and third wife Mayo Methot might have been caricatured in the Hollywood press as “The Battling Bogarts,” two hard-drinking, loudmouthed brawlers. But she was his champion to Warner Bros. and Hollywood at the key juncture in his career, as much responsible for Bogie achieving stardom at 40 as anybody.

Bogie’s widow had the biggest hand in rubbing her and two other earlier marriages — all were actresses — right out of the picture.

“Official” versions of how Leslie Howard insisted Bogart get the role of Duke Mantee in “Petrofied Forest” so that they’d reprise the roles they’d had in the Howard-produced Broadway blockbuster that became Bogie’s big break, are broken down with “facts.”

Movies and plays are sketched in, Bogart’s succession of career setbacks, and personal ones, are listed and laid bare.

And his character comes through, if not wholly unscarred, at least rendered in realistic strokes, foibles and all.

It’s time to accept that those “Release the Snyder Cut” t-shirts aren’t aging well. Because as Joseph Campbell taught us, the most important element in any “hero’s journey” is to pick a hero worth following. Writer-director Zack Snyder isn’t that hero.

The clumsily-titled “Rebel Moon: Part One — A Child of Fire” is a sci-fi epic crippled by the limits of big budget sci-fi movie imagination. Whatever one thinks of Mr. “300,” “Justice League” and “Watchmen,” his “Rebel Moon” is corporate content engineering at its most cynical.

Campbell’s “Hero of a Thousand Faces” re-iterated the idea that there are only so many plots and basically only one heroine or hero to lead the reader, listener or viewer through them.

Fine. The “quest” can’t help but feel familiar.

But this Snyder exercise in “world building” for a new “Star Wars” or its ilk is basically “Star Wars” with fewer fresher faces.

It’s a humorless mash-up of “A New Hope” and “The Seven Samurai” (and its Old West remake, “The Magnificent Seven”) a tale of imperialism and brutal repression, with lawless towns and saloons (cantinas), Brit-accented robots, shoot-outs, swordfights and rumors of a “chosen one.”

The villains wear Soviet Bloc uniforms and Nazi attitudes, backed by the silent, acquiescent red-robed priests of conquistador Spain.

The tech is just a re-jiggering and somewhat more art moderne “streamlined” redesign of all the “rebels” vs. “empire” futurism of every sci-fi movie of the past 50 years.

There are gladiators and bounty hunters and farmers in bib overalls and undisciplined goons as soldiers wearing recycled “American Gladiators” armor, insectoids and humanoid insects and hints of inter-species kink.

Supernaturalism? Fascism? Native mysticism? Fantastic Beasts and where to find them? Sure. They’re mixed-in with gigantic “planet killer” space Dreadnoughts and Ed Skrein as a pasty-faced sadist out to foil a rebellion.

The fights are filled with slo-mo, the cast peopled with generic characters played by actors with skills and just enough cachet to merit their paychecks.

The story-beats follow The Book of George Lucas, almost to the letter, especially when it comes to dialogue.

“Kindness is a vice worth dying for.” “There is a difference between justice and revenge.”

The great Sir Anthony Hopkins voices an empathetic and utterly superfluous robot. Charlie Hunnam is an Irish-accented Han Solo substitute. Djimon Hounsou is a rebel general reduced to gladiatorial combat.

And fangirl and fanboy favorite Sofia Boutella of recent installments of “The Mummy,” “Kingsmen” and “Star Trek” is Kora, a space war survivor laying low on a Nordic-accented moon named Veldt, just a farm gal in overalls and a Parisian pixie haircut, waiting for the moment when we learn she is “the most wanted fugitive in the known universe.”

All that slo-mo as she fends off occupiers, imperial minions and treacherous locals of every stripe? It’s to minimize the incredubility of the fight choreography.

Kora’s village is visited by soldiers from The Realm who want their harvest. Don’t stop and ponder why this grain-“negotiation” would be carried out at an Eat Local level by a large, armed occupying force. It’ll give you a headache.

A murder or two and one vengeful slaughter later, Kora and sweet-on-Kora farmer Gunnar (Michiel Huisman) are off on a quest to find the Rebels, and get some help for their village.

They’ll need passage off-planet provided by a lovable smuggler-rogue (Hunnam).

As for other help. Toshiro Mifune and Yul Brenner aren’t available. Maybe this general (Hounsou), this sword-slinging vixen Nemesis (Bae Doona), a freed-slave Tarak (Staz Nair) and can be enlisted.

In flashbacks, Kora doles out bits and pieces of her past to Gunnar, and we see Cary Elwes as a bearded, uniformed heir to the Romanov crown, the powers of a possible “chosen one” “as prophesied,” and we never for an instant grasp anything resembling “what’s really at stake here.”

All these petty crimes against originality wouldn’t matter a whit if Snyder & Co. mashed it all up into something fun or at least more distracting.

I’ve liked some of these actors in other roles. But even with Hunnam’s down’tha pub accident, there is nobody here I’d care to follow down the primrose path of this heroine’s journey, no well-handled action beat that isn’t literally recycled from a thousand other action films and a dozen other “Star Wars” outings.

Not a note of this beast rings heartfelt, original and true, and I’m not just talking about the pedestrian, compose-by-numbers score.

With comic book and “Star Wars” content tumbling into over-saturation and finally losing their cultural currency, the timing of this imitation “galaxy far away” is pretty bad, as well.

But maybe “Part Two” of “Rebel Moon” will work better. If not, I’m sure some rocket scientist will start screaming for “The Snyder Cut” soon enough.

Rating: PG-13 for sequences of strong violence, sexual assault, bloody images, language, sexual material and partial nudity.

Cast: Sofia Boutella, Djimon Hounsou, Bae Doona, Ed Skrein, Sky Yang, Cleopatra Coleman, Ingvar SigurdssonCary Elwes, Fra Fees, Jena Malone, Charlotte Maggi, Cory Stoll, and the voice of Anthony Hopkins. kKurt John

Credits: Directed by Zack Snyder, scripted by Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad and Shay Hatten. A Netflix release

Running time: 2:13

Any resemblence between Shakespeare and the Polish rom-com franchise “The Taming of the Shrewd” is abandoned altogether for “The Taming of the Shrewd 2,” the sequel to the popular, franctious and almost-bawd rom-com of last year.

So I guess that’s something.

The sequel, a wintry bauble featuring Polish snow, Polish folk musicians and singers and renewed complications keeping our happy couple apart, is polished in every way save for the one that matters the most — the screenplay.

The script is a slapdash load of nonsense that includes a contrived trip to America, a contrived “cuckolded” crisis involving an ambush from our gal Kaska’s old flame “Bob,”contrived kidnappings, liquor smuggling, horse-drawn-sleigh racing and a bear.

There are two couples in trouble here, and in rom-coms, that means mixed-and-rematched “couplings” to make each others’ true loves jealous, a “polyamory” joke and a nude massage to sort of seal the deal and give the picture a TV-MA rating.

I wish I could say it all kind of comes together, but it doesn’t.

Beautiful and fiesty Kaska (Magdalena Lamparska) goes off to America to accept some dubious award she’s been given, and to make an appearance on West Coast TV. Hunky but hapless Patryk (Mikołaj Roznerski) is left behind, wondering if she’ll call, if she’ll renew her acquaintance with “Bob” (Martin Budny) and facing an entire town that feels the newlyweds are in trouble and that he’s being “cuckolded.”

If she comes back in time for the couples sleigh race, maybe it’ll all work out. Maybe not.

Meanwhile, RV drifters/extreme sports couple Wera (Agata Turkot) and Kacper (Piotr Nerlewski) find their never-ending search for slopes to snowboard and waves to surf and kiteboard coming to an abrupt halt when he accepts a steady job.

She storms out in a huff and a puff of raggedly old motor home smoke.

Events transpire that put Wera under Patryk’s roof, and Kacper grabbed by the returning Kaska. She’s furious at what Patryk thinks may have happened and at the fact that he appears to have taken up with another woman.

Concerned relatives intervene to save this couple, “the pride of Podhale,” their winter wonderland village. That’s when the kidnappings begin and the bear makes his entrance.

The cast is pretty all up and down the line and seems skilled enough to make the laugh lines and sight gags land. It’s just that there are so few of them, and virtually none of them take off, much less land.

I wouldn’t have figured a sequel could be as off-key as the original film. But that’s what I get for figuring.

Rating: TV-MA, nudity, profanity

Cast: Magdalena Lamparska, Mikołaj Roznerski, Agata Turkot, Piotr Nerlewski, Tomascz Sapryk and Elzbieta Trzaskos

Credits: Directed by Filip Zylber, scripted by Hanna Węsierska. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:39

The knock on early sound movies has become ingrained in Hollywood lore and immortalized in films about the transition from silent cinema to “talkies” such as “Singing in the Rain” all the way to “Babylon.”

The sound gear was cumbersome and touchy, and the techniques for mixing sound were being invented as they went along. Films transformed from being kinetic, artfully-shot with ever-moving cameras and increasingly complex tableaux back to more primitive, static affairs, often shot in close-up, with fewer actors on set and fewer physical bits of business to avoid muddying up the sound mix.

The notorious 1929 Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks version of Shakespeare’s knockabout farce “The Taming of the Shrew” gives the lie to some of that reputation. It opens with striking, heavily-populated tracking shots, immersing us in Renaissance Era Padua and its noisy street life. It is packed with pratfalls, as that was forever the way of treating this “battle of the sexes” comedy.

There’s little evidence of any limitations imposed on this United Artists production thanks to the advent of sound. A mid-1960s restoration, with improved sound mix, sound effects and tidied-up musical score as part of the bargain explains some of that. Producer and co-star Pickford, the Canadian-born actress and silent cinema star who was the first to wear the label “America’s Sweetheart,” owned the rights, financed that restoration and rather inexplicably cut seven minutes from what was always a brisk and Big Scenes Only version of “Shrew,” an hour or more shorter than any other screen adaptation.

I approached watching this classic with limited expectations on a variety of levels. Many veteran screen actors making the leap to sound took a while to shed some of their silent “art” — broader gestures, exaggerated laughs and leers and the like. There’s evidence of that here, in the way Pickford, as “curst Kate,” holds a pose or a scowl, in the way her off-screen husband Fairbanks, the great action star of his era, throws his head back with every oversized laugh.

Fairbanks is all headscarf, big grin, broad strides and grand gestures, the exaggerated way one sees the character in community theater and high school productions pretty much to this day. Watch the old Britcom “Blackadder” and you can see Rick Mayall sending Fairbanks up in his various incarnations of Flashheart.

But all things considered, this shortened “Shrew” works well enough on a bare bones/mostly-laughs level. The “abuse” scenes which productions of the play leaned into, on screen and off, until the early ’70s, are here mostly Pickford’s ill-tempered Katherine slapping the boorish, overbearing but irresistable Petruchio — repeatedly.

Chances for supporting player mugging — Joseph Cawthorn, Clyde Cook and Charles Stevens are Gremio, Grumio and a servant — are vastly reduced when you simplify the plot and eliminate pages and pages of wordplay, the puns and general bawdiness. This “Shrew” even loses a couple of suitors for old Baptista’s (Edwin Maxwell) sweeter and “fairer” younger daughter, Bianca (Dorothy Jordan), which can’t help but feel like less-funny filler in most productions I’ve seen.

The plot? Men pine for young Bianca, but her father Baptista will not allow her to be courted and married until his mouthy, ill-tempered older daughter Katherine is married. A plot to find her a suitor brings Petruchio into the picture, a bluff and blustery braggart with very specific needs and desires.

“I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;
 If wealthily, then happily in Padua.”

It takes a while to figure out the sweet spot that writer Mike White (“School of Rock”?) was going for with “Migration.”

It’s got a lot of funny people doing voices — Kumail Nanjiani, Awkwafina, Keegan-Michael Key going Jamaican “mon,” Danny DeVito and Carol Kane among them. But the it’s not what I’d call quotably funny. The lines aren’t jokes.

The characters, a family of mallards struggling to convince “Why can’t we be satisfied with what we already have?” dad (Nanjiani) into “finally” taking them on a migration, are barely a shadow of the funniest ducks of them all — Daffy and (referenced here) Donald.

But there are plenty of sight gags — Awkwafina, playing a New York streetwise-but-mangled, tough-enough-to-be-named “Chump” pigeon getting smacked by one Metropolitan Transit Authority Bus after another on the edge of Central Park.

And the animated flying footage is spectacular and occasionally jokey.

It’s the first big laugh that gives away White’s game. The tiniest duck in the family, just-past-duckling Gwen (Tresi Gazal) begs her afraid-of-the-big-wide-world Dad, after Mom (Elizabeth Banks) and teen brother Max (Casper Jennings) have failed to talk him into joining passing flocks, and gives it her best shot.

Her eyes give us a Tex Avery bulge, and her plea will be recognizing by every six year-old in North America.

“PLLEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAASE?”

Every parent will turn to his or her child, Every Child will guiltily grin back at said parent. It’s not inherently funny, but it’s so universally recognizable that it can be.

What White has scripted here, with co-director Benjamin Renner also a co-writer, is a “cartoon” that’s not just for kiddies, not really for adults, but plays right into the hands of parents taking their children to see it.

The “family vacation” gags — little Gwen being VERY shy about when and where and with whom she’ll go to the toilet — are simple, but on point. Vacation envy, the migrating teen girl duck who flirts with Max, grumpy Uncle Dan (Danny DeVito) coming along for the flight, fretting over accomodations and food at every stop, we’ve all been there. Most of us, anyway.

Keegan-Michael Key isn’t given a single quotably hilarious line. But as a caged long-tailed red macaw freed by the family in the one of their many quests/escapes on their journey, Key appropriates ALL of Jamaican culture with that most musical of accents in English. And every word he utters is adorable.

“Migration” shares a “fatten them up” captive ducks gag with “Chicken Run 2.” You have to be in a duck or chicken “cult” to fall for that, right?

But the threats are kind of novel here. There’s no Elmer Fudd duck hunter, perhaps because those guys have ceased to be funny. What we have instead are rumors of what duck predators HERONS are (Carol Kane? “Predator?” Don’t be ridic.), and the dread fear of that creature most feared by every sentient duck — tattooed hipster chefs and their passion for Duck a’la Orange.

The mallards free the (unspeaking) chef”s sad macaw, wreck his kitchen in the process, and are pursued to the ends of the Earth — Florida, anyway — by the man with a menu to make out.

Visually, this is a most impressive effort. But it’s not particularly smart or witty or even kiddie profound in its messaging, and in avoiding easy laughs (jokes), it achieves liftoff even if it never quite soars.

“Migration,” like that “Super Mario” blockbuster earlier this year, isn’t one of this animation outfit’s best outings. It’s their “Rio,” pleasantly diverting in the moment, not quite instantly forgotten, but almost.

Rating: PG.

Cast: The voices of Kumail Nanjiani, Elizabeth Banks, Keegan-Michael Key, Danny DeVito, Tresi Gazal, Casper Jennings, Carol Kane and Awkwafina

Credits: Directed by Benjamin Renner and Guylo Homsy, scripted by Mike White and Benjamin Renner. An Illumination/Universal release.

Running time: 1:32

There have always been movie remakes, as long before the words “intellectual property” became common currency, studios were remaking scripts or books they had the rights to.

Hemingway’s “To Have and Have Not” was not just a 1944 classic with Bogie and “introducing” Lauren Bacall. As long as the rights were active, other versions turned up.

But “Hello Ghost” has to be a peak intellectual property moment. It was a 2010 Korean film about a suicidal man haunted by four ghosts he can see but no one else does, thanks to his “final” attempt at taking his life.

It’s similar enough to the sentimental Ricky Gervais romp “Ghost Town” as to have been inspired by it, but different enough to pack a bigger punch with a “twist” at the end.

Not content to have the rights to the original film, Netflix is behind not one but TWO fresh remakes of it — an Indonesian version, and a Taiwanese one, which I’m reviewing here.

Netflix is reaching back to a practice common during the early days of the “talkies.” MGM and other studios would make a domestic market version of a movie, and one for the Latin market, or Germany or wherever. Sometimes the star, the story and the title would be the only thing common to all the different versions. That was what you did if you wanted your property to make lots of dollars, pesos, francs and rubles in the days before dubbing or “closed captioning.”

Here Tseng Jing-hua plays a suicidal Taiwanese 20something whose 21st try at ending his miserable life comes close enough to succeeding that a paramedic (Shao Yo-wei) must bring him back to life on the way to the hospital. He hallucinates that she’s an angel come to save him.

But in the hospital, a traumatized plump and matronly woman (Tsai Jia-yin) and a fiesty older lady (Ching Lu-yi) who’d love to bitch out the nurses, if they could only see and hear her. A pranks-prone little boy (Hung Chun-hao) and an Elvis-haired chain-smoker (Chang Zhang-xing) also manifest themselves to our patient

Our lad is haunted by these folks, leading a doctor to think he’s crazy. And he will continue to be haunted by them, according to a psychic he visits, until their “wishes” come true, thanks to him.

Next thing our hapless but no longer suicidal young man knows, he’s hunting for an ancient taxi in the wrecking yard because somebody would love a last ride in his car, visiting an amusement park and rooting through a huge jar of dried radishes for an old lotto ticket.

At every step of the way, he stumbles into the paramedic, who is perplexed at these coincidences, and seriously bent out of shape at the money trouble her hustler-brother has stirred up with some gangsters.

Some story threads you can figure out, even without that banger saved for the finale.

The best sight gag in any of these adaptations has to be all the ghosts hanging off our hero’s body or crowded onto his motorbike with him — unseen, except by him. Aside from that, many of the “Ghost” pranks feeled pretty played by this point.

And in the Taiwanese version, director Hsieh Pei-ju and screenwriter Chou Ching-wen half-ruin their Big Finish by over-explaining and back-engineering the story of how that “twist” impacted everything that happened before.

“Hello Ghost” proves to be a durable comedy that more or less “travels” and works in a lot of languages. But whatever was special about the Korean version seems watered-down and pretty tired by now.

God forbid Netflix trot out Peruvian and Canadian versions.

Rating: TV-14, suicide attempts, lots of smoking

Cast: Tseng Jing-hua, Shao Yo-wei, Tsai Jia-yin, Ching Lu-yi, Hung Chun-hao and Chang Zhang-xing

Credits: Directed by Hsieh Pei-ju, scripted by Chou Ching-wen, based on the Korean film by Kim Young-tak. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:41

It’s about time filmmakers turned their attention away from English-language young adult fantasy fiction and returned to the land where the Western tradition in literary fantasy began, in the land of the Brothers Grimm.

But the Amazon/MGM production of Kerstin Gier’s “Dream” trilogy has been seriously Anglicized for mass cinematic consumption.

“Silver and the Book of Dreams” transplants characters and situations to London, a posh (ish) high school and the weird goings on with dream-obsessed boys and the latest student to stuff her books and backpack in a “cursed” locker.” But it’s still oddly off-center in some distinctly German ways, and it doesn’t look like any other YA screen fantasy of recent memory.

That’s not so much an endorsement as a suggestion that it might pique your curiosity. It certainly did mine.

Liv and Mia (Jana McKinnon and Riva Krymalowski) are siblings who have been shuffled about a lot — “seven school (introductory) tours in five years,” according to older sister Liv — since the death of their father.

Now they’re in London, with their mother (Nicolette Krebitz) and the new makeshift family she and partner Ernest (Rory Nolan) have formed.

French step-sister Florence (Gwenaelle Gillet) is openly rude and hostile, demanding her dad pay her to spend time — even mealtime — with these two upstarts. Stepbrother Grayson (Théo Augier Bonaventure), named for the dirtiest player in the history of Dook basketball, is less judgmental.

Liv’s dreams are often about her dead father and her trapped under the ice, drowning with him. Moving into this London townhouse, she finds herself wandering into dreams with Grayson. Is she really following him and his three mates into Highgate Cemetery in the foggy wee hours of the morning?

What’s this talk about needing “four men and a maiden” to “complete the ritual?” And this “Book of Dreams,” is that why she’s “lucid dreaming” her way down a fancifully-colored enclosed alley, opening doors into the dreams of others?

Having a “cursed” locker at school that ties her to the missing Annabell Scott would seem the reason for all this. Grayson’s pals Jasper (Efeosa Afolabi), Arthur (Chaneil Kular) and sweet-on-Liv Henry (Rhys Mannion) insist she’s the “Chosen One,” “a natural dreamer.”

Perhaps the locker “chose” her?

All the business about initiating Liv Silver into their cult of dreams, the “rules” of visiting the dreams of others, making their “fondest dreams” come true and avoiding their “worst nightmares” are colorfully pedantic and dull. It’s the quirky but recognizable teen “types” and high school world that’s more interesting here.

Exotic and outgoing school class president Persephone (Samirah Breuer), the generic rites-of-affluent-teen passage depicted — raves, popularity contests, young love, inclusion — are all just set decoration for a story that lacks urgency and that has a difficult time selling us its hgh stakes.

Are kids “disappearing” into this dreamscape, or truly dying in their own “worst nightmares?” Helena Hufnagel’s film doesn’t manage the feat of making one care about that.

What I want to know is what got up French-girl Florence’s bum that has her hating and looking down on the world, aside from Euro-stereotypes in action? Setting up the Silver siblings as thick as thieves, and all but abandoning Mia as a character seems clumsy. But then, that might not leave time for Liv and Henry to make eyes at each other and eventually make out.

The whole business of dreamland being a Diagon Alley with “Monsters, Inc.” doors to the dreams of others is a bit of an eye-roller, no matter how luridly imagined. But perhaps that’s the idea, a YA fantasy made-to-order for kids of any nation where Pixar and J.K. Rowling are what they grew up on.

Rating: TV-16

Cast: Jana McKinnon, Rhys Mannion, Josephine Blazier, Théo Augier Bonaventure, Efeosa Afolabi, Chaneil Kular, Riva Krymalowski and Samirah Breuer

Credits: Directed by Helena Hufnagel, scripted by Sina Flammang based on a novel by Kerstin Gier. An MGM/Amazon Prime release.

Running time: 1:32

Don’t tell his momma, or his wife. But there’s something just right about casting Dermot Mulroney as an ex-con.

He’s got the look. Hell, he’s had it all along. But damned if that rough-hewn, more-rugged-than-handsome-mug wasn’t in “My Best Friend’s Wedding,” “The Family Stone,” lots of movies in which Dermot M. had no trouble at all passing for a sensitive romantic lead.

Mulroney’s at that “Here’s another offer to play a heavy” stage of his career, and in “Breakwater,” he’s all the richer for it, no matter how tiny the paycheck.

“Breakwater” is an indie thriller about a young ex-con (Darren Mann) send to find a “long lost daughter” for her “dying” daddy, the Old Man of the Yard in a prison in coastal Virginia.

The young guy, named “Dovey,” as in “Lovey Dovey,” only figures out that his prison mentor was using him when the hardened lifer busts out to settle matters with that “daughter (Alyssa Goss) after Dovey’s reported back that, yeah, that’s her, using a different name but running a bookstore in Currituck on the Outer Banks of N.C.

What has Dovey done? What can ”Eve” do? Will she let the gullible Dovey help her get out of this fix? Because at many a juncture, jailbird Ray has shown he’s capable of things and probably of a mind to do his worst.

Mulroney’s Ray charmed and counseled Dovey, warning him about “the straight and narrow” and how life for an ex-con has a “long way down, each side” set of choices.

But when he shows his true colors, staging his escape and calculating how long it’ll take “help” to arrive before plugging a guard, he’s downright sadistic.

“Ain’t no place to get shot better’n an ambulance!”

Goss, of TV’s “Bruh,” is convincingly salty as Eve, aka Marina, a single mom leading lighthouse tours and running a book shop full of “beach reads,” but more than willing to offload a few F-bombs to take the genteel edge off. She’s convincingly salty in other ways, showing off her 38 foot ketch to Dovey, who is a skilled swimmer and ex-con’s son who’s worked on the water — crabbing — his whole life.

Mann manages the unworldly side of Dovey with ease, letting him almost get mauled by the first barmaid he stumbles across when he “gets out” (Mena Suvari, in kinky mode).

And Carolina native filmmaker James Rowe, who’s made two films in 25 years (“Blue Ridge Fall”) really hit the jackpot with little Ezra DuVall, playing Eve’s little — VERY little — girl in documentary-real strokes.

“Breakwater” was shot in “Hollywood East,” as it used to be called — in and around Wilmington, N.C., with a little filming, from the looks of things, at the Currituck Lighthouse. Movies filmed there have a vivid sense of place about them — swamp and sand and salt-scented sea breezes, funky little fishing villages and crab shack tourist towns.

I know this part of the world well, and I loved the film’s grounding in that sense of place and appreciated the lack of false notes in the performances, the action beats and the generally unfussy plot.

This “simple” genre thriller is entirely too simple for its own good. It feels so familiar that we’ve seen it all before. But even if it never transcends its genre, Mulroney, Goss, Mann and the rest of the cast keep “Breakwater” pretty close to above water, start to finish.

Rating: R, violence, sexual situations, profanity

Cast: Darren Mann, Alyssa Goss, Sonja Sohn, JD Evermore,
Daniel Williams-Lopez, Ezra DuVall, Mena Suvari and Dermot Mulroney.

Credits: Scripted and directed by James Rowe. An XYZ Films/Vertical release.

Running time: 1:37