Weekend Movies: Mixed reviews for “Christopher Robin,” the Curious Calamity of Kate McKinnon

robin3Every movie month of the year is its own particular brand of battleground, but August is, like January, a special case. It’s where movies that couldn’t compete against an “Incredibles 2,” “Mission: Impossible” “Girls’ Trip” or “Avengers LCXVI” traditionally are trotted out.

Genre pics, generally, comedies with less at risk, dramas and more sensitive fare that might not be “awards season” worthy, but could make some money in contrast to the big action, big laughs, big budget popcorn fare that dominates the multiplex from late April to Labor Day shows up in August.

Yes, “Signs” opened in August and blew up, and “Guardians.” They were exceptions to the rule and defied lower expectations. “The Constant Gardener” is the one Oscar winner in recent memory that stood out from the crowd and made its “prestige picture” mark long before awards were handed out.

Thus, Disney’s “Christopher Robin,” which had a healthy budget (nobody seems to know what that is, I’d guess in the $80-100 million range), the director of “World War Z” and Ewan McGregor and the Disney brand and the Winnie the Pooh name recognition going for it.

It would have stood out, but it most certainly would have gotten lost in the summer shuffle in May, June or July

Disney knew something else about it, which is why they had a late night Thursday embargo on reviews. It’s not very good, a stumbling, “dispiriting” effort build upon a dubious effect (furry toy animals who talk their way into the real world of Post-War Britain) that is a let down. 

But opening it on a weak weekend in August, with bad reviews suppressed, they might get $29 million out of it. 

That won’t surpass the second weekend of “Mission: Impossible — Fallout,” but it would go a long ways toward covering the costly effects that drive the Pooh picture, even if the too-furry, beady-eyed (literally) bear is a bit of a bother as entertainment.

Then there’s “The Spy Who Dumped Me,” a formulaic two-star comedy that’s a distaff variation on the Buddy Picture. It’s seriously lame and would have bombed on any other weekend. With Kate McKinnon and Mila Kunis as draws, it could hit $15 million.

I caught it at a packed house at my Favorite Regal Cinema Thursday night — packed. But the biggest laughs came from the front row, where people were apparently must have been reading funny texts on their phones. Something like that.

The theater was so quiet and the movie so dull that my mind wandered off into considering the Curious Case of Kate McKinnon. She is brilliant on “Saturday Night Live,” great timing, almost underplaying some roles (Hilary C.) and over-the-top in many others (Notorious RBG).

But on the big screen, she always goes Big. Too Big. Trying Too Hard Big. Desperately POUNDING for laughs. Her compact supporting performance — a bit part really — in “Masterminds” was the only Kate turn that I thought worked, small, underplayed, daft and a quite specific.

spy3In starring roles, she’s all over the place, trying something different, day to day, scene to scene. She is disastrously bad in “The Spy Who Dumped Me,” straining to add laughs to a leaden Mila Kunis turn (she, too, is always funnier in support).

Think of all the players who were great at sketch comedy on the small screen — Dana Carvey, Gilda Radner, even Joe Piscopo. They could never dial it down and make their personas work on the big screen, or they had too many personas to choose from and couldn’t settle on an image they wanted to build characters out of.

McKinnon is starting to look like that’s where she’s going to land. Watch Bill Murray and Eddie Murphy’s big screen debuts. They instinctively grasped dialing down their small screen, play to the back row “live audience” impulses and went for understated droll or cool.

Some of it is a matter of timing. Will Ferrell was the last of the “Broad Character/High Concept” comedy stars to come out of that cast. McKinnon might have thrived a dozen years earlier.

McKinnon will continue to get the Kristen Wiig-sized offers. She ought to be looking for Bill Hader ones, films that don’t force her to tote the comic load, to be as broad. Hader never made a “Stefan” movie, Wiig hasn’t turned “The Target Lady” into a film.

McKinnon goes way-out wacky every time out.

Hell, if Jason Sudeikis could figure this out, McKinnon should be able to as well.

Look at the Rotten Tomatoes (in particular) reviews of “The Spy Who Dumped Me.” The endorsements of this dog — widely panned overall — are overwhelmingly male, as indeed the entire tomatometer is. With the recent “research” that claimed male critics are giving a harder time to female centered projects, and movies with female directors, I was looking for some confirmation of that in the reviews of this one 

Most of the endorsements were from guys. It’s called “working the refs.” Make a claim of bias, those accused bend over backwards when the next test case comes up that they fear might be measured. Conservative media critics in the conservative media have played that game for decades. The majority of female critics dumped on “Dumped,” recognizing the film for what it is — poorly-scripted, a poor pairing of stars, a misuse of McKinnon’s talents. The majority of male critics did, too. Save for a few weak-kneed Major Media Outlet folks afraid for their jobs over “sexism” labels.

Everybody was in utter agreement over “The Darkest Minds.” This appears to be based on fiction that predates the cut-and-paste piffle of YA books and movies such as “Maze Runner” and “Divergent,” built to be movie franchises in imitation of “The Hunger Games.”

That’s doesn’t keep it from being one of those awful orphans like “The Seeker,” “The Host,” etc., formulaic crap for an audience that hasn’t experienced a decade of these movies and thus doesn’t realize how bored it should be.

The marvelous “Eighth Grade” goes into wider release today, too. Find it. See it.

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Movie Review: “The Spy Who Dumped Me” Makes Us Understand Why

A leaden, violent and tone-deaf script and two surprisingly unfunny stars — one trying WAY too hard and the other not trying at all — bury “The Spy Who Dumped Me.” 

This strictly-according to formula espionage thriller is so laugh-starved it makes you wonder how this can’t-miss formula ever worked in the first place.

Double and triple crosses? Check. Motorcycle assassins who chase the heroines through the street of whatever European city they’re in (Vienna)? Check.

Exotic talky torture? Of course. Climax in “The Big Gala” or “The Circus?” Let’s do BOTH at once!

And the violence! My stars, the bloodshed!

But none of it clicks because the stars never do. Kate McKinnon mugs so much it’s as if she’s playing to a “Saturday Night Live” audience on a film set, where extras and crew are ordered not to laugh to spoil the take. And nobody told her.

Co-star Mila Kunis phones this one in, which adds to McKinnon’s desperate hamming, riffing, groping for laughs that the script doesn’t give her and she cannot improvise.

Kunis plays Audrey, freshly-dumped via text by her swarthy, stubbly boyfriend (Justin Thereoux).

BFF Morgan (McKinnon) tries to cheer her up at her birthday party, but the occasion just makes Audrey mope for the party, a year ago, when she met Drew.

Even Morgan’s “Let’s burn his s—” suggestion of a bonfire for what he left in the apartment fails to, um, ignite.

But we’ve seen Drew in action in the prologue, a secret agent man fending off back guys and snapping their necks when the need arises. Of course Audrey doesn’t know.

And she’s just vulnerable enough to follow the handsome Brit (Sam Heughan) out of the organic market where she works, only to be stuffed into a van. Sebastian and his Harvard Man sidekick (Hasan Minhaj) want whatever Drew left for her. 

No idea what they’re talking about, but when Drew suddenly appears, she understands. Kind of. Just as She Drew is murdered, right in front of her eyes.

His dying words send her and Morgan off to Europe, to Vienna, Prague and Paris, trying to make the connection Drew warned her to make, delivering the plot device (MacGuffin) he’s entrusted to the woman he dumped.

Action follows, a well-filmed chase that all but ends the moment they figure out they cannot drive a stick shift, would-be actress Morgan (The live in LA.) dons a disguise and utterly inappropriate accent, with a model/gymnast/assassin (Ivanna Sakhno) racing across Europe in an inconspicuous chrome Ferrari to kill them, and an irate MI-6 chief, “a real Judi Dench, IN THE FLESH” (Gillian Anderson) chewing them out and earning Morgan’s undying devotion.

The two moments you feel were “directed” here are that opening, an espionage in fall bit filmed in shades of blue, grey and white, and in a funny-deadly trapeze brawl.

=ut the jokes feel added on, as if nothing the director/co-writer (Susanna Fogel, mostly TV credits) prepped in advance was good enough to keep.

Morgan grabs an Amadeus hat in a train station and marvels, “They REALLY play up that Mozart was from here…and play DOWN that Hitler was here, too.”

Morgan’s constant affirmation of Audrey is a non-starter of a running gag, with “He literally works in intelligence, and you were more intelligent!” and the like not selling the joke.

It’s too soon to call the code on McKinnon’s big screen career, but considering her best roles were bit parts in middling fare like “Office Christmas Party” and “Masterminds,” that she’s overreached for laughs in “Ghostbusters” and this one, you have to wonder if the “SNL” MVP isn’t destined for a Dana Carvey sort of big screen career — stunted.

McKinnon has never been good in a movie. Kunis has never been worse.

Kunis seems to shrug off toting half the load here, deferring to McKinnon. No, dear, they didn’t just pay you to wear the designer gown and drop F-bombs. Her “reaction” to seeing her ex-boyfriend’s death, and the aftermath, is just wrong — even in a comedy.

The only time they’re both invested in the film is in manic patter torture scene, and that comes over an hour after the first significant on-screen death (there are several), long past the moment when this movie flatlines.

1half-star
MPAA Rating: R for violence, language throughout, some crude sexual material and graphic nudity

Cast: Mila Kunis, Kate McKinnon, Justin Theroux, Sam Heughan, Hasan Minhaj, Gillian Anderson, Jane Curtin, Paul Reiser

Credits:Directed by Susanna Fogel, script by Susanna Fogel, David Iserson. A Lionsgate release.

Running time: 1:56

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Movie Review: “Christopher Robin” may have Pooh, but lacks the Pooh touch

robin3

Disney has a responsibility to Winnie the Pooh that extends beyond licensing agreements and mere commerce.

Wherever A.A. Milne’s books still stand within the kid lit universe, Disney gave Pooh a voice, and the childish, gently daft and very English tone of its many cartoons fixed Pooh in the minds of generations.

So moving Pooh into the “real” world, the “adult” world, by making him a tactile, real walking-talking, honey-craving bear proves to be tricky in “Christopher Robin,” a mopey, downbeat “rediscover my inner child” ode to the grown up boy who inspired the Pooh stories.

It’s a fantasy that has nothing at all to do with the real Christopher Robin Milne. 

Still, you can’t make a Pooh movie without at least a hint of the Sherman Brothers’ “Winnie the Pooh” song, without him sounding like the late Sterling Holloway, who voiced him in the earliest cartoons.

But no longer drawn, “real,” with an inexpressive plush face and entirely too much faux fur? Well, as the bear might put it, “Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”

Ewan McGregor is the harried, workaholic Christopher Robin, ignoring wife (Hayley Atwell) and little girl Madeleine (Bronte Carmichael) as he struggles to find “efficiencies” at Winslow Fine Luggage, an upscale firm finding it hard to serve the well-to-do in austere, post-War Great Britain.

When he neglects to join the family for a weekend at the Sussex farm where he grew up, the bear stirs. A gloomy fog has descended over The Hundred Acre Wood.

“If only Eeyore were here to enjoy it.”

Pooh frets over where the Old Gang might be. So he sets out to find Christopher Robin, stumbling upon him in a London park.

The businessman, with his attache filled with “very important things” (papers), figures he has at long last snapped.

“Stress,” he says, on imagining that he sees and hears his childhood toy-pal talk.

“Not ‘Stress,’ Pooh,” insists the bear, who recognizes him even in his “wrinkly” middle age.

They return to the Hundred Acres and fall into their old roles without so much as a second thought — Pooh sighing, puzzled at  anything beyond honey, naps, friends and adventure, Christopher Robin explaining the world — “There’s more to life than balloons and honey!” — fixing Pooh’s problems, tracking down Eeyore, Piglet, Owl and Rabbit, Kanga and baby Roo.

But is it “Always a sunny day when Christopher Robin comes to play?”

Sadly, no. Director Marc Forster is over a decade removed from “Finding Neverland,” and whatever the “World War Z” filmmaker might have brought to a production that relies on CG toys in a photo-real world, the light touch was not one of them.

It’s a quietly dispiriting film, keeping the viewer on tenterhooks, watching a grey and exhausted domestic melodrama play out while groping for some recognizable Pooh tune, Pooh mischief or Eeyore complaint to grab hold of.

“Looks like a disaster,” the sad old plush donkey says, surveying Rabbit’s crashed home. “Why wasn’t I invited?”

McGregor gamely tries to fit in here, but there’s little whimsy in the character or his performance of him.

Jim Cummings has made a career out of sounding like Pooh’s Holloway and original Tigger voice Paul Winchell. Brad Garrett of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Finding Nemo” is an apt voice for Eeyore, Toby Jones a good choice for Owl and Peter Capaldi a daring one for Rabbit.

But the laughs, what precious few there are, and the obvious but Pooh-appropriate theme (Make time to play.) are strictly of the lowest low-hanging fruit variety — Pooh making a mess with honey, Pooh unable to fathom the mysteries of a compass.

The adult stuff won’t do much for adults or children, and the childish moments don’t add up to a kid-movie’s worth.

I can’t find it in me to hate on the little big screen bear. But the whole affair feels like a desperate, big-budget response to last year’s far superior and non-Disney “Goodbye, Christopher Robin.”

Protect the brand and all, you know. One can’t help but wish they’d honored that brand by simply saying, “Nicely done” to the earlier film, and left it at that.

2stars1

MPAA Rating: PG for some action

Cast: Ewan McGregor, Hayley Atwell, Bronte Carmichael

Credits:Directed by Marc Forster, script by Alex Ross Perry, Tom McCarthy and Allison Schroeder, based on the A.A.Milne/Ernest Shepard characters . A Walt Disney release.

Running time: 1:44

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Preview, “The Grand Son” will kill Lesley Anne Warren to save his lifestyle

An unstable has-been “star” for a granny, who is the source of the family fortune, even now in her Home Shopping Network appearance years.

A grandkid who loves the lazy way he lives, forced to scramble for a solution to “saving” the income, if not the granny.

Here’s a mystery. The film isn’t listed under this title on IMDB. But the cast (Warren excepted) and story appears to be from “American Pets,” which has opened in Poland, at least.

Curious.

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Netflixable? Are there mid-meltdown Charlie Sheen laughs in “A Glimpse inside the Mind of Charles Swan III?”

swan1

Curiosity gets the better of us all, and as I, like the rest of the universe, missed Charlie Sheen’s big screen “comeback” when it was (barely) released in 2013, I took a gander at this one.

The opening on-camera confession/interrogation of Charles Swan III (Sheen) pokes into his character’s obsession “with power and sex,” and the tiny part of his brain that handles “bodily functions and other affairs.”

“Affairs?” The aging, sunglasses-wearing, chain-smoking trainwreck has his interest piqued.

Thus do we begin the flashbacks to the clutter and disasters of his life as seen from inside his head, “A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III.”

And a bigger Cluster-Sheen I could never imagine.

It’s a staggering, under-scripted and shockingly unfunny all-star “rescue” comedy designed to put some of that Tiger Blood on the screen, while Sheen was still kicking and worth a tabloid headline or three.

Long time ago, in other words.

In the title role, Sheen/Swan wanders through the demented fantasies of a celebrated photographer who has philandered away his latest lady love (Kathryn Winnick), with occasional advice aid and advice from his musician-pal (Jason Schwartzman), his accountant (Bill Murray) and and his sister (Oscar winner Patricia Arquette).

“Therapy?”

“I don’t need some guy in wingtips to tell me I’m suffering.”

We revel in a literal dance-at-your-own-funeral sequence with Charles (and a stunt dancer) tripping the light fantastic with assorted exes, a bossa nova duet (Sheen on guitar) with Winnick and Sheen, a dream sequence “Best B.S.” awards ceremony, an imagined “Injun raid” where the warpainted attackers are other Swan exes (Mary Elizabeth Winstead among them), all featuring Sheen and the glories of his omni-present sunglasses and Reagan-Elvis dye job.

It’s a debacle as only a Coppola (Roman Coppola) could fashion.

I’m leaving out the best parts, the endless parade of traveling shots — Swan in his vintage Caddy, or riding in Schwartzman’s vintage Bentley — all set to the quizzical pop of Liam Hayes.

Stay through the charming closing credits — the only place “charm” figures into this — to see who Hayes is.

None of this really ties together, little makes a lick of sense, and Sheen’s movie career plainly ended for a reason. Acting requires more than a smirk.

Roman Coppola wrote and directed this lifeline to the then-death spiraling Sheen, and the fact that Ol’Charlie’s still with us suggests it did him some good to make it.

Not that he’s done anything at all with this second or seventy-fifth chance. Pity they couldn’t have rounded up all these co-stars, from Aubrey Plaza to Dermot Mulroney,  to save, say, Prince.

1star6

MPAA Rating: R for language and some nudity

Cast: Charlie Sheen, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Patricia Arquette, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Aubrey Plaza, Dermot Mulroney

Credits: Written and directed by Roman Coppola. An A24 release.

Running time: 1:25

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Preview, John C. McGinley and Garret Dillahunt ruin Little League in “Benched”

McGinley’s an under-rated funnyman, and parking him in a dugout with a bunch of post-T-ballers is a cute enough idea. Could be funny.

Not that the trailer gives a lot of the funny away.

“Benched” opens in limited release Aug. 17.

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Preview, Christopher Lloyd is a convicted child molester in “Making a Killing”

Reverend Jim, or Doc Brown, if you prefer, as a heavy?

Not a first, but usually it’s been in kids’ films that the trapped in flaky roles for life Christopher Lloyd showed a touch of the dark side.

Here, he’s a sexual predator nobody wants back in town, and isn’t long for this world when he gets out of prison.

 

Michael Jai White is the star, playing the detective tracking through a Western town’s collection of characters (and character actors like Sally Kirkland, Mike Starr) who might be the creep’s killer.

“Making a Killing” opens in 2019.

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Movie Review: “The Darkest Minds,” the dullest YA movie yet

THE DARKEST MINDS

The letters “YA” are enough to strike terror in the hearts of any sentient movie goer, especially fans of science fiction.

Because for every “Hunger Games” or “Maze Runner” that hits and spawns too many repetitive, inane sequels to count, there’s a “Divergent,” so silly even “Young Adults” of 15 or 16 lose interest in a flash.

“The Seeker,” “The Giver,” “The Host,” Mortal Instruments” — Netflix is littered with “franchises” that never sold enough tickets to return from the dead.

“The Darkest Minds” seems fated to fall into that last dustbin. It’s a tediously derivative tale based on an Alexandra Bracken novel about a plague that wipes out most of the world’s children, and leaves the rest as candidates for Professor Xavier’s “special” school.

Except the government hunts them down and packs them into camps, and the kids who flee the camps become rebels against, you know, a corrupt system.

Of course there’s a “chosen one,” naturally she’s preternaturally pretty and of course there’s a young hunk or three vying for her attention, affection and maybe the use of her powers.

Here, Ruby (Amandla Stenberg of “Everything, Everything,” about to blow up in “The Hate U Give”) is the child reared in labor camps, agirl classified as very smart, but non-threatening, a “green” as the scientists have designated them.

There are more dangerous golds, and oranges and reds with psychotronic powers, able to read minds, hurl objects with their brains and fling fire and what have you from their fingertips.

Ruby is “rescued” by “The League,” an organization that snatches these little brain-bombers from Federal custody. Mandy Moore is Cate, who seems like a heroine…

UNTIL Ruby falls in instead with Liam (Harris Dickinson), Chubbs (Skylan Brooks) and the mute and deadly Zu (Miya Cech), the scariest tween ever.

“Tracers” hunt them, and the government forces under the command of a “concerned” president (Bradley Whitford). If only they can make it to sanctuary, figure out where the cool kids are hiding. Maybe track them down on AM radio.

“If you can hear this, you are one of us...”

Animator (“Kung Fu Panda”) turned director Jennifer Yuh Nelson treats us to some “Maze Runner” level dystopia — a half-ruined entropic country (the story is set in Virginia), abandoned malls (No kids, no need for malls, right?), legions of locked-up kids paraded, by color, into detention camps.

Sound familiar? You’re not watching the news.

The rebel kids live on the fly, on their own and in the woods and form their own hierarchy. Sound familiar? You’re not seeing enough YA sci-fi.

Nelson keeps the kids, especially Stenberg, in tight bedroom-poster-size close-ups. But the performances are nothing to make you think, “We’ve got the next Jennifer Lawrence/Shailene Woodley here.”

These movies live or die on their action beats, and only a couple register — a random car chase with supernatural assistance, and a big battle involving soldiers and Osprey troop transports and kids with eyes that glow orange or red when they get into a dust-up.

It’s inconsequential enough that even the filmmakers hedged their bets on setting up a sequel. New generations of kids come along fast enough that “derivative” doesn’t bother YA viewers as much as the rest of us.

But even they might roll their eyes at the best “The Darkest Minds” can come up with. Which is nothing we haven’t seen before, repeatedly, over the past five years.

1star6

MPAA Rating: PG – 13 for violence including disturbing images, and thematic elements

Cast: Amandla Stenberg, Mandy Moore, Harris Dickinson, Skylan Brooks, Bradley Whitford

Credits:Directed byJennifer Yuh Nelson, script by Chad Hodge, based on the Alexandra Bracken novel. A Fox release.

Running time: 1:45

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“Rest in Power,” an Outside Looking In Take on the Trayvon Martin shooting

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The ambition is obvious, right from the swirl of opening credits to “Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story,” a six part documentary series about the “Pandora’s Box” of race, death, the relative values of human lives and the nightmare that “stand your ground” laws have brought to America.

Six years after that Oscar night shooting in Sanford, Florida, the racial schism the shooting of an unarmed 17 year-old exposed seems wider than ever, with the national “backlash” over Trayvon Martin’s shooting now running all three branches of national government.

But was there enough in this pilot, focusing most heavily on the boy’s parents, his lawyer Benjamin Crump and assorted Sanford officials and public relations specialists, to hook everybody in for the other five episodes?

The editing is dazzling, the witness list impressive and there’s plenty of cover footage of The Retreat at Twin Lakes, where the shooting occurred, the fanciest 7-11 in Sanford and the city of Sanford from across Lake Monroe.

Every day that I drive into Orlando I see the Hunter 31 sailboat anchored just shy of the city beside the Interstate 4/St. John’s River Bridge, as seen in the movie.

But this overview episode, with its outsiders-looking-in point of view, misses the mark on how big a deal this was locally before it became a national hot button story. A short montage of Martin/Zimmerman coverage from local TV is all it merits in “Rest in Power.”

Jay Z’s hired filmmakers Jenner Furst and Julia Willoughby Nason had great access to the Martin family, but put zero effort into the reporting that actually first exposed the shooting as something other than “simple self-defense.”

Yes, the attorneys the family hired pushed to get 9/11 tapes released and raised the pressure on a hapless, wrong-footed police department (heavily represented in the film, too). But where are the local journalists who drove this story before it became a cable chattering classes cause celebre?

You can have Al Sharpton, but the newspaper I used to work for was all over this thing early on. Were those intrepid reporters unavailable? All laid off and unwilling to comment? Because putting some dipstick from DC-based Politico on the earliest episode, when it was a Central Florida story, seems half-assed.

The court cases, sure, by then this shooting had become another Casey Anthony Circus, to use the other big Orlando area crime analogy. But from the get-go, this thing was covered by print reporters with access and initiative, and TV reporters competing like hell for leads in a highly-competitive top 20 TV market.

It wasn’t about Al, not for a while. It was never about Politico. I hope this changes in future installments, but the tone and reach of the piece, from Trayvon to Trump, Charlottesville and Kaepernick, suggests otherwise.

Cast: Tracey Martin, Benjamin Crump, Sybrina Fulton, Police Chief Bill Lee, Sgt. David Morganstern, Officer Christopher Serino, Mayor Jeff Triplet

Credits:Directed by Jenner Furst, Julia Willoughby Nason, script by . A BET/Paramount Network release.

Running time: 1 hour

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Preview, “Party Mom” gets a teen killed with her permissive ways

Golly, talk about a MILF buzzkill.

Not a lot of household names in this “Trashy Housewives Get Kids Killed” drama — Krista Allen, Megan Ward, Amber Frank.

“Party Mom” looks like a “Lifetime Original Movie” with a splash more sex.

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