“Love Me” is an experiment in sci-fi romance that goes wrong.

The pitch? Billions of years after the end of humanity, a smart buoy in the icy wasteland of Earth’s seas thaws out and makes contact with “The Messenger,” a satellite that sends “Welcome to Earth” signals and which contains all of the knowledge, history and quirks of the human race that died out.

Via avatars that they generate of each other, based on a Youtube “influencer” couple — Deja and Liam (Kristen Stewart and Steven Yeun) — they try out this notion of “falling in love.”

In old school cinematic “high concept” speak, it’s a post-apocalyptic romance, “Her” meets “Wall-E.”

The movie is a comment on romance and screen romances in the age of Influencers, where nothing is “real” and everything can seem staged for BlueSky, Facebook or TikTok consumption.

But first time feature-directing couple Sam and Andrew Zuchero make the rookiest of rookie mistakes with their bold-enough-to-attract-Oscar-nominees project. They cast two of the most attractive actors in the cinema, and hide them from the viewer for most of their movie.

We wait over 15 minutes for the first flashes of archived “Deja” posts to share memories of the influencer couple and their antiseptic, PG-rated “Date Night” traditions. The long-dead humans are rendered into CGI avatars of “Me” (Stewart) and “I-am” (Yuen) who then dabble with the digital Messenger’s stored memories of humanity and what young urbanites did for fun in the way of coupling, dating and perhaps avoiding the procreating that would preserve the race, or over-procreated to drive it to extinction.

They dabble in “You do you” humor, ponder “What is life?” as they attempt assorted “Date Night” rituals — kissing and “tickle challenge” among them — simulate a wedding and discover what all the fuss with “sex” is about. They even sing the sex-obsessed “Friends” TV show theme song during their influencer “dates” as they realize “relationships are hard work.”

The CGI seascape beyond their digital, Youtube Video universe is stark and windswept, icy seas washing over the skeletal ruins of cities. Indoors isn’t much more visually interesting.

Stewart and Yeun (“Minari,” “Nope”) do their best to animate their flesh-and-blood scenes with confusion, curiosity and attraction. But they don’t have enough screen time to make this learn-how-to-love experiment come off

The film never rises above the level of “curiosity.” It’s not droll or funny like “Her.” Attempts at “touching” and emotional explorations of what it means to be human, to love, etc., are mostly non-starters.

This isn’t on a par with “Starman,” “Her” or any earlier attempt at aliens or AI discovering the secret formula for “humanity.” From that opening act, when minutes and minutes of screen time are burned through with No Stars as the filmmakers laboriously set up their bleak scenario, “Love Me” fails to achieve the bare minimum. It can’t even get to Like Me.

Rating: R, sex

Cast: Kristen Stewart and Steven Yeun

Credits: Scripted and directed by Andrew Zuchero and Sam Zuchero. A Bleecker St. release.

Running time: 1:31