When it comes to holiday films, American tastes long ago moved into HallmarkLand.

Christmas princes, princesses, holiday get-aways that turn into second chance romances, holiday movies these days are all about Dolly Parton, Nicolas Sparks and sentiments — and plots — that can be boiled down to a Hallmark Card, or its cheaper Dollar Tree equivalent.

Netflix learned this lesson a couple of holidays back. Jeff Bezos and Amazon/MGM figured it out the hard way last weekend, when their idiotically-expensive “Red One” won the box office race in what could only be described as an underwhelming Pyrrhic Victory.

The most-watched holiday movie in America isn’t about Santa’s security detail (“Red One”), a new version of “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” or the edgier/off-key “Chrismas Eve at Miller’s Point.” It’s “Hot Frosty,” a “Frosty the Snowman” tale where the snowman stepped off a fashion show runway in between trips to the gym.

Streaming holiday films are where stars of yore from Lindsay Lohan to lesser lights from “Sex and the City” show up and remind us they’re still here, still working and always employable as long as there’s a Hallmark Channel, Netflix or Amazon willing to write a check to park them in a winter wonderland.

“Party of Five” and “Mean Girls” alumna Lacey Chabert is our widowed, lovelorn heroine ready to meet “Hot Frosty.” Lauren Holly (“Dumb and Dumber”), Katy Mixon Greer (“Four Christmases”) and Craig Robinson (“Hot Tub Time Machine”) head the supporting cast of “Whatever happened to’s?”

It’s about cafe owner Kathy (Chabert) draping a magical scarf on a snowman in postcard-perfect Hope Springs, only to have it turn into a naked and seriously buff dude (Dustin Milligan) who might be new to this whole humanity thing, but “If it’s on TV, I can learn it.”

Widowed Kathy has let her house go, as she no longer has a “honey” for her “honey do” list. As our naked snowman swiped used coveralls with the name “Jack” on them, Jack is here to rescue her from her leaky roof (Shirtless shingling in the snow!) and her broken heart.

Because you can learn to fix anything on Youtube. And you can learn to dance and romance from TV.

Holly plays the busybody neighbor who needs Jack’s um, assistance. Mixon Greer’s the town doctor, who’s as baffled as Kathy about this buff new hunk in town’s lower-than-low body temperature.

And Robinson is the local sheriff, determined to get to the bottom of things as regards a “crime” Jack committed, and Jack’s lack of a markable finger print.

There’s maybe one laugh in this — at a gathering of ladies who lunch who gawk at an (unseen) shot of Jack just after his transformation, naked as the day he was born.

The story and the characters who inhabit it never quite surpass “cute” or measure up to “sweet.” But Netflix or screenwriter Russell Hainline have done their research on small town America. The store “Jack” swipes boots and those coveralls from, the same place where Kathy received the “magical” scarf as a gift, is a friend’s unclaimed luggage store. That’s something every Southern Living/RFTV subscriber in Flyover America knows all about.

A lot of people are watching “Hot Frosty.” Some may even like it. But even many of them might admit — with the threat of “No eggnog for you” hanging over them — that it’s pretty but pretty bland and pretty bad (mostly heartless and humorless), to boot.

But ’tis the season for “Give the people what they want,” and what they want is treacle, not The Rock.

Rating: TV-PG, near nudity, lots of shirtlessness

Cast: Lacey Chabert, Dustin Milligan, Lauren Holly, Katy Mixon Greer, Joe Lo Truglio and Craig Robinson

Credits: Directed by Jerry Ciccoritti, scripted by Russell Hainline. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:30