“The Greatest Surf Movie in the Universe” is nothing of the sort.

But give it to the stoners who sat around a barbie and dreamed-up this daft would-be-romp. Mixing live-action surfing footage in with a loopy sci-fi story “acted” out by plastic action figures based on today’s most famous wave riders is a novel way of getting around casting actors, building sets, staging fights and Aussie beers busts and what not.

It’s kind of shambolic, half-assed and terrible, but almost amusing in the right frame of mind (altered) and with the right audience (surfers).

A “Road Warrior” cast-off narrator (Luke Hemsworth) tells us of a future when a virus has wiped out much life on Earth, and “all memory that surfing existed.” But the surf god Huey (Ronnie Blakely‘s voice and action figure) charges surfer Mick Fanning and World Surf League commentator Joe Turpel (sometimes in action figure form, sometimes as a unicorn) to assemble half a dozen former surfers, convince them that this sport once existed and get them on film.

“The Greatest Surf Movie in the Universe” will remind the world, especially surfers, of what they’re missing.

After they’ve considered the ethical consequences of “maybe we shouldn’t make this movie. Maybe we should keep these waves to ourselves,” they dive into their quest, wrestling assorted “patchouli-smelling hippy f—sticks” now acting as rock stars and “Circus” yurt bar owners that they used to be Jack Freestone, Mason Ho, Griffin Colapinto and others “who f—–g dominated” the sport the world forgot about.

A villain and a vaccine played a part in this anti-surf calamity, so at lease they got the “f—sticks” part right. And naturally, The GOAT may have to be consulted before all is said and done.

With plastic action figure nudity, scalogical humor and mock (plastic) violence, it’s harmless enough, save for that RFJ-Jr. “vaccine” phobia peddled to rubes element. The surf pop, surf folk and surf hip hop ditties are OK, and the surf slang and thick dose of Oz accents makes even limp lines kind of funny, here and there.

“All this time I’ve been eating sand and grating cheese on my abs when I could have been surfing!”

Yeah, mate. Talk about misplaced priorities.

Rating: unrated, gory doll violence, doll nudity and lots of profanity

Cast: The voices of Mick Fanning, Joe Turpel, Ronnie Blakely, Mason Ho, Griffin Colapinto, Vaughan Blakey and Kelly Slater, with Luke Hemsworth

Credits: Directed by Vaughan Blakey and Nick Pollet, scripted by Nick Pollet. A Blue Fox release.

Running time: 1:22