
Fans of the famed Disney “Haunted Mansion” will pick up on all sorts of easter eggs and visual nods to the theme park attraction — sets, gimmicks, props, etc. — in the new film based on a beloved piece of Disneyana.
The rest of us will be the ones who notice how generally fright-free it is, how thin the laughs are and how too much of its two-hours-plus runtime is a bit of a letdown.
It begins with great promise, a spooky tale built around a non-believer (LaKeith Stanfield) and “ghost tour” guide in “the most haunted city in the world,” New Orleans. And then it leaves New Orleans for a remote antebellum mansion/set-piece filled with theme park cutesiness and mostly undistinguished and indistinguishable ghosts. The picture promptly loses its mojo.
Stanfield, of “Get Out” and “Judas and the Black Messiah,” is Ben, a sad and solitary loner who’s crawled into the bottle after losing a loved one. We get a glimpse of the charming love-affair in the prologue and can guess what happened after that.
Now, this one-time man-of-science wakes up late enough in the day to lead people around “haunted” New Orleans. But no matter what his shtick to the tourists, he’s not changed his mind about the subject.
“There’s no such thing as ghosts.”
A visit from a dapper priest (Owen Wilson, in hat and gloves) lures Ben with some ghost-hunting gear to Gracey Manor, where a single mom (Rosario Dawson) and her little boy (Chase W. Dillon) are at their wits’ end. Some presence or presences are conspiring to chase them out of their new home.
An exorcism won’t do. They need a ghost buster. Ben isn’t shy about taking their money, no matter how foolish he thinks they are. A few encounters and one “spectral photograph” later, and he’s starting to believe.
A local “cut-rate psychic” (Tiffany Haddish) is hired. An expert on the ghostly history of the mansion (Danny DeVito) will be consulted as they seek answers and solutions to this mad infestation of the dead-but-not-gone. And a long-dead psychic (Jamie Lee Curtis) will be summoned.
“We’re called MEDIUMs.”




Stanfield throws himself into this, even though he’s nobody’s idea of naturally funny. Ben is here to be the straight-man/skeptic, underreacting to what other folks are seeing or saying they’re seeing until he starts seeing things himself.
“I probably just need to calm down, don’t I?” Dawson’s Gabbie gripes, as well she should.
Haddish, Wilson and even DeVito are strangely subdued, muzzled perhaps by a screenplay (by Katie Dippold) that is mostly filler between digital spooky effects, which aren’t all that spooky.
“Zillow” and “Yelp! score” jokes are the humorous order of the day. “Parks and Rec” veteran Dippold wrote the female “Ghostbusters” and the Goldie/Amy Schumer flop “Snatched.” So…
Even the flashbacks to the mansion’s violent past (not slavery) fail to make much of a connection in the stalled middle acts.
Eddie Murphy’s “The Haunted Mansion” was more childish, broader and goofier, but having a famous comic at the heart of the cast makes a difference in that regard as jokes and gags are kicked up a notch. The scary stuff can’t be amped up to “horror” standards because this is a kids’ film, and “harmless” is always your default mode for those.
But “harmless” is a hard sell to hang on a two hour comedy with too-few laughs and a scary movie with no edgy frights. Still, fans of the various Disney Haunted Mansions around the world may get something out of it, even if nobody can tell the spooky digital ghost-in-chief is Oscar winner Jared Leto.
Rating: PG-13 (Scary Action|Some Thematic Elements)
Cast: LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, Danny DeVito, Chase W. Dillon, Jared Leto and Jamie Lee Curtis.
Credits: Directed by Justin Simien, scripted by Katie Dipold. A Walt Disney release.
Running time: 2:02

