The ever-devolving horny teen party comedy continues its progression from “Sixteen Candles” to “Just Can’t Wait” to “American Pie,” “Superbad” and beyond with “Incoming,” a rough and tumble cut and pasting from every teen movie to precede it.
Nepo baby brothers Dave and John Chernin, sons of former Fox chief and Hollywood mega-mogul Peter Chernin, leap to the front of the “my film gets made” line with a more-raunchy-than-amusing farce whose cleverest touch might be the title. As in “Incoming” freshmen have no idea of the barrage that’s “incoming” from unsympathetic upper classmen.
Any sexual element to that pun title is probably unintentional.
Mason Thames, Ramon Reed, Raphael Alejandro and Bardia Seiri play four of Waymont High’s class of 2028, kids contending with mean older siblings, mom’s creepy new boyfriend and unrequited crushes on upperclasswomen which cause one and all to look forward to reinventing themselves for this new environment.
“High school’s gonna murder you,” is older LGBTQ sis Alyssa’s (Ali Gallo) threat to mop topped younger brother Benj (Mason Thames). Judging from his assigned senior carpool/orientation “buddy, low-rent drug-dealer Adam Ruby (Thomas Barbusca), that might very well be the case.
Luckily, pals Eddie (Ramon Reed), Connor (Raphael Alejandro) and Koosh (Bardia Seiri) are here for moral support and advice. Eddie’s the kid whose mother’s latest love is as trustworthy as a Trump. Connor is barely 15 and looks so young he’s labeled “Fetus” by the bullies who were themselves bullies their freshman year. And rich kid Koosh can’t use the cool moniker “Koosh” because his tougher, cooler older brother denies it. “Danah” it is.
Koosh-the-elder (Kayvan Shai) is the one throwing the “Mom and Dad are going out of town” rave that chould change everybody’s high school future.
“Who you are in high school is basically who you’re going to be forever.”
As Koosh the younger is only allowed a single “plus one” for his brother’s blow-out, fat chance of that.
The night-long kiddie baccanale will see two of the quartet steal mom’s creepy boyfriend’s Tesla, forced to contend with the beautiful, drunk and “This IS my Uber” influencer (Loren Gray). Tik Toking Koosh the Kid will test his “Operation Meet Cute” suave rich-kid-on-his-home-court “moves” on an older girl. And Benj will try to remake himself from the theatre kid he was in middle school and confess his crush on his sister’s bestie, Bailey (Isabella Ferreira) as his “carpool” drug dealer’s fraud comes home to roost.
There are snatches of dialogue that amuse — “I just didn’t identify with my ‘birth nose.'”
But shock and “ewwww” was what the Chernins were going for — peeking in on raw dogging same sex coupling, graphic toilet humor and the lonely, just-divorced chemistry teacher (Bobby Cannavale) who decides to drop by for “just one drink” and turns the evening into a string of “Who’s ready for a science lesson?” moments.
What does the “proof” in alcohol mean? And how does that relate to its flammability, for instance?
Cannavale plays this “teacher who shouldn’t be partying with kids” stuff as clumsy and pathetic, when the idea of including it was plainly creepy and transgressive.
The snorting drug abuse, nudity, sex and fussilade of F-bombs (parents and children included) have a whiff of “Superbad,” but experienced movie watchers will pick up attempted hints of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” “Can’t Hardly Wait” and “Sixteen Candles” in the more graceful moments. Not that there are a lot of those.
But if you’re wondering what your kids are sneaking off to watch and take notes on as this school year begins, here it is — freshman year as envisioned by Hollywood scions whose experience of high school was R-rated and stolen from a lot of other movies.
Rating: R, violence, drug abuse, sex, nudity, near constant profanity
Cast: Mason Thames, Ramon Reed, Isabella Ferreira, Ali Gallo, Raphael Alejandro,
Bardia Seiri, Thomas Barbusca, Caitlin Olson and Bobby Cannavale
Credits: Scripted and directed by Dave Chernin and John Chernin. A Netflix release.
Running time: 1:31
